1
00:00:01,127 --> 00:00:04,667
I can't believe Han is making us
tidy up this damn diner.

2
00:00:04,839 --> 00:00:07,919
It's like putting a pretty church hat
on a whore.

3
00:00:10,635 --> 00:00:13,755
Come on, harder, faster.
Do it faster and harder.

4
00:00:13,930 --> 00:00:18,270
Ding. What is, "Things Han says
to a male hustler," Alex.

5
00:00:19,103 --> 00:00:20,403
No time for jokes, Max.

6
00:00:20,562 --> 00:00:23,982
The health inspector will be here soon
and I need to get that A rating.

7
00:00:24,149 --> 00:00:26,359
This diner getting an A
for cleanliness...

8
00:00:26,527 --> 00:00:29,107
...would be like me getting an A
for a bra size.

9
00:00:30,114 --> 00:00:33,534
Oh, it will happen.
I did a thorough job.

10
00:00:40,707 --> 00:00:44,337
Is he making omelets or crystal meth?

11
00:00:45,087 --> 00:00:47,837
Oleg, you let Han put you
in two hairnets?

12
00:00:48,006 --> 00:00:51,796
Three. I don't wanna talk about it.

13
00:01:04,814 --> 00:01:07,034
Sorry I'm late.
I was having my nails done.

14
00:01:07,192 --> 00:01:11,662
It's the first time I stopped moving
in two years and I fell asleep.

15
00:01:12,198 --> 00:01:14,068
You had money
to get your nails done?

16
00:01:14,240 --> 00:01:18,250
Question: Was prostitution as disgusting
as you thought it would be?

17
00:01:19,162 --> 00:01:20,502
Han paid for it.

18
00:01:20,664 --> 00:01:22,834
Oh, so it was worse.

19
00:01:24,126 --> 00:01:25,336
There she is.

20
00:01:25,503 --> 00:01:28,463
There's my show pony.

21
00:01:28,923 --> 00:01:30,343
Let me see them digits.

22
00:01:30,841 --> 00:01:34,141
I want you to be the first thing
the inspector sees when he enters.

23
00:01:34,344 --> 00:01:36,144
You're just so blond and clean.

24
00:01:39,224 --> 00:01:42,064
Hey, where's my manicure?
How come I don't get anything?

25
00:01:42,353 --> 00:01:43,693
Oh, I haven't forgotten you.

26
00:01:43,853 --> 00:01:47,443
Here's 50 bucks.
Beat it till the inspector leaves.

27
00:01:49,192 --> 00:01:53,492
Some would be insulted.
I'm gonna ask for 75.

28
00:01:53,656 --> 00:01:55,616
And you are going to get it.

29
00:01:59,662 --> 00:02:00,752
I have exciting news.

30
00:02:00,912 --> 00:02:04,252
At the nail salon, I heard about
this amazing seminar we should go to.

31
00:02:04,415 --> 00:02:06,325
Oh, no, no, no.

32
00:02:06,501 --> 00:02:08,251
I went to a seminar once.

33
00:02:08,419 --> 00:02:11,589
I was almost married to 300 Koreans.

34
00:02:11,757 --> 00:02:15,217
It's a branding seminar for business owners
to define who they are...

35
00:02:15,385 --> 00:02:18,505
...and get them primed and ready
for their window of opportunity.

36
00:02:18,681 --> 00:02:21,811
I think I'd rather be married
to 300 Koreans.

37
00:02:21,975 --> 00:02:24,845
Then I could get my nails done
whenever I wanted.

38
00:02:25,020 --> 00:02:26,350
Max, this is the real deal.

39
00:02:26,521 --> 00:02:28,571
The woman who runs it
is a branding genius.

40
00:02:28,731 --> 00:02:30,611
She created the Nike "just do it."

41
00:02:30,776 --> 00:02:32,606
That woman didn't make up
"just do it."

42
00:02:32,777 --> 00:02:35,567
High school boyfriends have been
using that for centuries.

43
00:02:36,949 --> 00:02:40,699
You're still here?
What's it gonna take? Another 10?

44
00:02:41,704 --> 00:02:43,044
Hey, I don't need a seminar.

45
00:02:43,204 --> 00:02:46,334
I found a brand that's gonna get me rich:
obnoxious.

46
00:02:47,459 --> 00:02:49,919
Okay, Earl, how is cleaning your area
coming along?

47
00:02:50,086 --> 00:02:54,836
I've got decades of napkins over here
with all my old ideas on them.

48
00:02:55,009 --> 00:02:58,259
Apparently napkins were
the old Twitter.

49
00:03:00,931 --> 00:03:04,441
Hello. Could you tell the owner
the health inspector has arrived?

50
00:03:04,602 --> 00:03:06,522
Oh, you are a woman.

51
00:03:06,687 --> 00:03:09,017
Thank you for noticing.

52
00:03:10,566 --> 00:03:12,026
Are you Han Lee?

53
00:03:12,192 --> 00:03:14,442
Hey, Han, is this the--?

54
00:03:17,281 --> 00:03:21,201
-So where would you like to start?
-Sadly, the men's room.

55
00:03:21,367 --> 00:03:23,827
Ground zero.

56
00:03:23,996 --> 00:03:25,536
I will join you in a second.

57
00:03:25,705 --> 00:03:27,785
Is it Miss or Mrs. Rottello?

58
00:03:27,957 --> 00:03:30,997
It's miss, thank you for asking.

59
00:03:32,045 --> 00:03:34,505
I'll see you at the toilets.

60
00:03:35,049 --> 00:03:37,839
Ground zero just got a lot nicer.

61
00:03:41,013 --> 00:03:46,353
Han, I think that health inspector
wants to inspect you.

62
00:03:46,518 --> 00:03:49,098
Stop. If she hears you,
she'll give me an F.

63
00:03:49,271 --> 00:03:52,321
I think she wants you to give her an F.

64
00:03:53,150 --> 00:03:55,900
Max, I paid you $90. Now go.

65
00:03:57,862 --> 00:03:59,072
-Here, Max.
-What's this?

66
00:03:59,239 --> 00:04:01,159
How we'll make the 600
for the seminar.

67
00:04:01,324 --> 00:04:03,494
I made flyers for a yard sale
at Kinko's.

68
00:04:03,661 --> 00:04:07,041
Wow, "Kinko's" and "yard sale"
in the same breath.

69
00:04:07,205 --> 00:04:10,245
Where do I keep finding
this inner strength?

70
00:04:12,836 --> 00:04:14,086
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

71
00:04:14,253 --> 00:04:17,303
That must be Sophie
with her yard sale stuff.

72
00:04:17,507 --> 00:04:19,587
Hey, girls.

73
00:04:20,343 --> 00:04:22,263
Hey, Sophie, where's all your junk?

74
00:04:22,428 --> 00:04:26,268
Oh, where it always is: in my trunk.

75
00:04:26,432 --> 00:04:27,772
(SOPHIE CHUCKLING)

76
00:04:27,935 --> 00:04:29,685
Well, look here.

77
00:04:29,853 --> 00:04:33,443
I got a bunch of stuff that Oleg
wanted to donate to your yard sale.

78
00:04:33,606 --> 00:04:35,816
Oh, that's so nice of him.

79
00:04:36,026 --> 00:04:37,646
Oh, yeah, he doesn't know about it.

80
00:04:37,819 --> 00:04:40,989
Yeah, it's all the stuff
he's been leaving around my apartment.

81
00:04:41,156 --> 00:04:47,286
He's getting way too comfortable,
so sell it all. Yeah. Ha.

82
00:04:47,454 --> 00:04:50,544
You probably can get a couple of bucks
for his passport.

83
00:04:50,707 --> 00:04:53,077
Yeah, he paid 80 for it.

84
00:04:53,252 --> 00:04:54,922
Maybe he's leaving things around...

85
00:04:55,086 --> 00:04:58,716
...because he wants to take things
to another level. Maybe even move in.

86
00:04:58,882 --> 00:05:02,182
Oh, girl talk. Ooh.

87
00:05:02,802 --> 00:05:06,932
Shouldn't you serve me a cosmo
like they do on television? Heh, heh, heh.

88
00:05:07,391 --> 00:05:10,691
Don't have any cosmos,
as we're broke and it's not 1998.

89
00:05:10,853 --> 00:05:13,983
But how about a pink cupcake?

90
00:05:14,148 --> 00:05:15,938
Even better.

91
00:05:16,108 --> 00:05:18,278
Maybe now that Oleg's told you
he loves you...

92
00:05:18,444 --> 00:05:21,454
...you're starting to have intimacy issues
about getting close.

93
00:05:21,612 --> 00:05:23,372
Oh, come on.

94
00:05:23,574 --> 00:05:26,584
Save that garbage for your yard sale.

95
00:05:26,744 --> 00:05:29,704
Yeah, the man is just up there
too much.

96
00:05:29,872 --> 00:05:33,792
I mean, he's down there
when he's up there, but, yeah.

97
00:05:33,959 --> 00:05:36,299
It's way too much, yeah.

98
00:05:36,461 --> 00:05:38,551
He's gotta change or he's out.

99
00:05:38,713 --> 00:05:41,223
Hey, thanks for the cupcake, Max.

100
00:05:41,382 --> 00:05:42,472
And, Caroline...

101
00:05:43,468 --> 00:05:46,928
...I don't know what you add,
but, yeah, so....

102
00:05:48,723 --> 00:05:52,643
Our yard sale's not quite all set up yet.
You're early. Our flyer said 1 to 5.

103
00:05:52,810 --> 00:05:55,110
Oh, I don't do flyers.

104
00:05:55,271 --> 00:05:57,321
Miss Trudy, my card?

105
00:05:57,483 --> 00:06:01,783
This is my wife, Miss Trudy.
And the bird's name is Scott.

106
00:06:02,112 --> 00:06:07,122
Dennis Endicott III, thrift shop scout
and Brooklyn's crazy kitsch genius.

107
00:06:08,160 --> 00:06:10,450
"Lord of the Things."

108
00:06:12,497 --> 00:06:15,627
So I have lots
of classic couture pieces.

109
00:06:15,793 --> 00:06:17,093
You won't be disappointed.

110
00:06:17,252 --> 00:06:19,632
Well, I have been before.

111
00:06:19,797 --> 00:06:20,917
Miss Trudy?

112
00:06:21,130 --> 00:06:25,180
We went all the way to Pennsylvania
for a Facts of Life beanbag-toss game.

113
00:06:25,343 --> 00:06:27,053
-No Blair.
-No Blair.

114
00:06:27,221 --> 00:06:30,061
Just two Tooties.

115
00:06:30,557 --> 00:06:34,887
Life just sucks it hard sometimes.
Am I right, Scott?

116
00:06:35,062 --> 00:06:37,482
On that chair are my things
and you'll notice--

117
00:06:37,648 --> 00:06:40,108
Oh, I already did, 14 for all of it.

118
00:06:40,274 --> 00:06:41,744
Fourteen hundred. Perfect.

119
00:06:41,901 --> 00:06:44,901
Hundred? Darling, $14.

120
00:06:46,031 --> 00:06:47,871
But this is all vintage.

121
00:06:48,033 --> 00:06:50,283
Vintage, or just out of season?

122
00:06:51,327 --> 00:06:53,287
Wait, is that a nugget buddy?

123
00:06:53,454 --> 00:06:55,174
Miss Trudy, they have the cowboy.

124
00:06:55,331 --> 00:06:56,461
He loves the cowboy.

125
00:06:56,667 --> 00:06:58,917
I bet he does.

126
00:06:59,502 --> 00:07:01,052
Oh, I am so relieved.

127
00:07:01,213 --> 00:07:04,053
When we don't find anything good,
he gets really mad.

128
00:07:04,216 --> 00:07:06,046
(WHISPERING)
At me.

129
00:07:06,218 --> 00:07:09,348
Sorry, that's not supposed to be out.
I can't break up the set.

130
00:07:09,512 --> 00:07:11,472
You have all 10 nugget buddies?

131
00:07:11,682 --> 00:07:14,522
Yep, and every other
Happy Meal toy since 1993.

132
00:07:14,685 --> 00:07:16,265
My mom used to take me there a lot.

133
00:07:16,435 --> 00:07:20,145
Heh. Well, she used to leave me there a lot,
but same dif.

134
00:07:20,314 --> 00:07:22,484
-Six hundred for the whole collection.
-Sold.

135
00:07:22,692 --> 00:07:23,992
Whoa, whoa, not sold.

136
00:07:24,194 --> 00:07:25,824
Max, come on. This is our future.

137
00:07:25,987 --> 00:07:27,947
Well, those are my past. No sale.

138
00:07:28,115 --> 00:07:31,535
Let's go, Scott.
This is Tootie-gate all over again.

139
00:07:32,451 --> 00:07:37,041
And you, when we get home,
you better put on the punishment pillow.

140
00:07:39,293 --> 00:07:42,463
Don't worry. I kind of like it.

141
00:07:45,007 --> 00:07:48,837
Well, so much for a horse in a hat
being the weirdest thing in this yard.

142
00:07:53,514 --> 00:07:58,524
Explain to me again how an item I paid
$3000 for just two years ago...

143
00:07:58,687 --> 00:08:02,607
...is worth less than something
that came with a dipping sauce.

144
00:08:03,524 --> 00:08:07,994
A Happy Meal toy reminds people
of a sweeter time, a simpler time...

145
00:08:08,154 --> 00:08:10,784
...a pre-Kardashian time.

146
00:08:11,240 --> 00:08:14,540
Attention, attention.
I have something very important here.

147
00:08:14,702 --> 00:08:16,202
The results of your DNA test...

148
00:08:16,370 --> 00:08:19,540
...proving your mother was Asian
and your father was a pine nut?

149
00:08:20,918 --> 00:08:24,248
No, we got our letter grade
from the city health inspector's office.

150
00:08:28,925 --> 00:08:30,545
Whoo! We got a B!

151
00:08:30,718 --> 00:08:34,758
That's the first B I ever got
I didn't have to French kiss for.

152
00:08:35,057 --> 00:08:36,767
A B? No, no, no.

153
00:08:36,933 --> 00:08:38,773
This boy don't play with no B's.

154
00:08:38,936 --> 00:08:41,766
I'm calling that little tease
Miss Jean Rottello right now.

155
00:08:43,649 --> 00:08:46,069
This isn't good.
Asians don't do well with B's.

156
00:08:46,235 --> 00:08:47,855
At Wharton, I got a B...

157
00:08:48,028 --> 00:08:51,238
...and the Japanese kid
who sat next to me killed himself.

158
00:08:55,701 --> 00:08:58,371
Oleg, I'm kind of getting used
to this look now.

159
00:08:58,538 --> 00:09:01,168
You kind of look like
Bin Laden's ghost.

160
00:09:04,168 --> 00:09:06,048
Good night, girls.

161
00:09:06,212 --> 00:09:08,802
I'm going to go over
and spend the night at Sophie's.

162
00:09:08,966 --> 00:09:11,216
-No, maybe not.
-Why would you say that?

163
00:09:11,384 --> 00:09:13,724
Because she can't stop herself.

164
00:09:14,471 --> 00:09:17,141
It's just, she might like a little
space sometimes.

165
00:09:17,307 --> 00:09:20,477
-She needs space? Did she say that?
-Not in so many words.

166
00:09:20,686 --> 00:09:23,016
No, those were the words.

167
00:09:23,272 --> 00:09:25,232
Look, Sophie
loves having you around.

168
00:09:25,399 --> 00:09:27,859
She told us you're getting
too comfortable there...

169
00:09:28,025 --> 00:09:31,355
...when she came over
to sell all your stuff at our yard sale.

170
00:09:31,529 --> 00:09:34,739
-I know how that sounds--
-And yet you keep going.

171
00:09:36,451 --> 00:09:39,041
Oleg, Sophie is just feeling
a little smothered.

172
00:09:39,203 --> 00:09:40,293
She feels smothered?

173
00:09:40,455 --> 00:09:44,375
Have you ever tried motorboating
those cans of hers?

174
00:09:47,211 --> 00:09:50,301
Once, but I was very drunk
at the time.

175
00:09:55,011 --> 00:09:57,931
Make a few changes,
everything will be right back on track.

176
00:09:58,097 --> 00:09:59,927
And stop talking now.

177
00:10:00,100 --> 00:10:02,560
Make some changes?
That's all I've done for her.

178
00:10:02,727 --> 00:10:05,267
I change my furniture.
I change my ways.

179
00:10:05,438 --> 00:10:09,228
I change my underwear
more than once a week.

180
00:10:10,902 --> 00:10:12,532
That's it.

181
00:10:12,738 --> 00:10:15,118
No more changing for Han.

182
00:10:15,282 --> 00:10:18,242
And no more changing for Sophie.

183
00:10:22,331 --> 00:10:23,911
I'm done changing.

184
00:10:24,081 --> 00:10:25,831
I'm back, baby.

185
00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:27,790
Spread the word.

186
00:10:36,761 --> 00:10:40,431
I think he's gonna be spreading
more than the word.

187
00:10:40,932 --> 00:10:42,392
I want to kill someone.

188
00:10:42,558 --> 00:10:45,848
Why, did they cancel
Suite Life of Zack and Cody?

189
00:10:49,149 --> 00:10:51,609
No, I just got off the phone
with the inspector--

190
00:10:51,777 --> 00:10:53,607
She answered at this time of night?

191
00:10:53,778 --> 00:10:56,908
Come on, it's not like
she was out on the town.

192
00:10:57,073 --> 00:11:01,543
Han, I think that B you're holding
might stand for "bitch."

193
00:11:01,702 --> 00:11:06,042
I got a B because of the conditions
of the back room off the dishwasher area.

194
00:11:06,207 --> 00:11:08,457
I didn't even know
we had a back room. Did you?

195
00:11:09,126 --> 00:11:12,876
No, but of course there's a mysterious
back room in this upside-down world...

196
00:11:13,048 --> 00:11:16,298
...where a piece of cheese is mayor
and Donna Karan is a no one.

197
00:11:21,556 --> 00:11:22,716
Oh, there it is.

198
00:11:22,890 --> 00:11:25,770
I always thought that was the property
of the bar next door.

199
00:11:25,936 --> 00:11:27,936
If we share a door with a bar...

200
00:11:28,105 --> 00:11:32,395
...my breaks are about to get longer
and drunker.

201
00:11:32,567 --> 00:11:34,947
Wait here, girls,
while I push this rack away.

202
00:11:37,322 --> 00:11:39,322
(GRUNTING)

203
00:11:43,120 --> 00:11:46,250
P90X, don't fail me now.

204
00:11:55,923 --> 00:11:59,893
I'm pretty sure
this is what my soul looks like.

205
00:12:01,429 --> 00:12:03,809
Now I'm going to have to hire
an emergency crew...

206
00:12:03,974 --> 00:12:06,484
...to come clean this by Friday
to get my A.

207
00:12:06,643 --> 00:12:09,603
Oh, damn it.
I guess Caroline and I can do it.

208
00:12:09,770 --> 00:12:11,150
Are you insane?

209
00:12:11,355 --> 00:12:15,315
Max, I can't. I haven't worked
on the railroads like you.

210
00:12:15,485 --> 00:12:19,025
Come on, Han needs his A
and we need the money for that seminar.

211
00:12:19,197 --> 00:12:21,447
Isn't this one of those windows
of opportunity?

212
00:12:22,701 --> 00:12:24,911
-Six hundred dollars.
HAN: Forget it, girls.

213
00:12:25,077 --> 00:12:28,117
Look at these walls.
I need professional steam cleaners.

214
00:12:28,289 --> 00:12:29,619
I steam cleaned before.

215
00:12:29,791 --> 00:12:33,501
How else do you get malt liquor
and blood stains out of a rented prom dress?

216
00:12:36,630 --> 00:12:39,130
Ugh. It's so humid and damp in here.

217
00:12:39,301 --> 00:12:42,101
Now I know how balls feel.

218
00:12:49,269 --> 00:12:52,479
Let me just move this cord out of--
Oh, I just got a shock.

219
00:12:52,647 --> 00:12:54,687
No, a shock is coming home...

220
00:12:54,899 --> 00:12:58,399
...to find your mom in the tub
with your tenth-grade crush.

221
00:12:59,696 --> 00:13:02,156
I should push these light cords
back up--

222
00:13:02,323 --> 00:13:03,703
(SCREAMING)

223
00:13:03,866 --> 00:13:06,366
Oh, my God!
What was that? What was that?

224
00:13:06,535 --> 00:13:09,205
Uh.... It's a roach nest.

225
00:13:09,413 --> 00:13:12,633
There are roaches in my hair!
There are roaches in my hair!

226
00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:15,882
It's okay, it's okay, it's okay!

227
00:13:16,046 --> 00:13:19,086
Good news, they're already dead.

228
00:13:19,256 --> 00:13:20,376
Bad news...

229
00:13:20,549 --> 00:13:23,969
...as I pull them out of your hair,
they're decomposing.

230
00:13:25,096 --> 00:13:26,176
Are you crying?

231
00:13:26,347 --> 00:13:29,097
I can't do this.
Not even for the seminar.

232
00:13:29,267 --> 00:13:31,097
I'll sell my Happy Meals.

233
00:13:31,727 --> 00:13:33,357
Max, you don't have to do that.

234
00:13:33,522 --> 00:13:36,112
-But we need the money.
-Okay, great.

235
00:13:39,778 --> 00:13:42,948
Hey, nugget buddies, as soon
as the man with the bird gets here...

236
00:13:43,114 --> 00:13:46,704
...you'll be leaving my loving care
and going out into the big bad world.

237
00:13:46,868 --> 00:13:49,998
Shoes will step on you,
kids will tie you to fire crackers...

238
00:13:50,163 --> 00:13:53,463
...and some real sickos may stick you
in a trunk and drive you across state lines.

239
00:13:53,625 --> 00:13:55,625
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

240
00:13:57,003 --> 00:14:02,303
CAROLINE: Hi, Sophie.
-Oleg cheated on me and I'm so mad!

241
00:14:02,466 --> 00:14:04,466
(SCREAMING)

242
00:14:05,845 --> 00:14:07,635
Oh, I have to break things.

243
00:14:07,806 --> 00:14:11,176
But everything upstairs
in my apartment is too nice.

244
00:14:11,350 --> 00:14:13,770
So run a tab, girls.

245
00:14:14,019 --> 00:14:16,019
(SCREAMING)

246
00:14:23,654 --> 00:14:24,994
(MAX and CAROLINE SCREAM)

247
00:14:27,366 --> 00:14:29,906
I gotta break more things.

248
00:14:30,703 --> 00:14:32,963
CAROLINE: Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
-Stop! That's my--!

249
00:14:33,831 --> 00:14:35,831
(SCREAMS)

250
00:14:36,375 --> 00:14:39,545
Oh. I feel better.

251
00:14:39,712 --> 00:14:40,962
I really do.

252
00:14:41,338 --> 00:14:42,718
Okay.

253
00:14:42,881 --> 00:14:44,721
All right.

254
00:14:45,176 --> 00:14:47,346
I think we just saw
what it would look like...

255
00:14:47,511 --> 00:14:50,391
...if someone cheated
on the Incredible Hulk.

256
00:14:51,099 --> 00:14:52,979
Hey, girls.

257
00:14:54,144 --> 00:14:58,194
Sophie's back. Spread the word.

258
00:15:01,817 --> 00:15:04,817
Max, look, your Happy Meal toys.

259
00:15:11,285 --> 00:15:13,615
CAROLINE: Look, I know you're upset
about your toys, Max...

260
00:15:13,788 --> 00:15:15,658
...but come on, it's kind of fun.

261
00:15:16,291 --> 00:15:20,341
There's only one kind of wet that
I've been at 3 a.m. that I would call fun.

262
00:15:20,503 --> 00:15:23,013
This is not it.

263
00:15:25,341 --> 00:15:27,261
Oh, look, under the newspaper...

264
00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:29,967
...there's some sort of
stained glass window there.

265
00:15:30,138 --> 00:15:32,138
Oh, pretty.

266
00:15:32,307 --> 00:15:36,637
Oh, you're finally getting the money
you wanted and you're so chipper.

267
00:15:36,811 --> 00:15:40,151
I'm chipper, to use your word,
because we're working to earn money...

268
00:15:40,315 --> 00:15:43,395
-...to move our business brand forward.
-Stop saying "brand."

269
00:15:43,567 --> 00:15:48,237
-And this seminar better be worth it.
-Why are you saying it like that?

270
00:15:48,405 --> 00:15:51,985
"Seminar," with quotes around it
like it's a silly idea or something.

271
00:15:52,159 --> 00:15:54,869
-I didn't say "seminar" with quotes.
-You did. You said--

272
00:15:55,746 --> 00:15:58,326
Oh! Oh, sorry. Sorry.

273
00:15:58,500 --> 00:16:01,210
I was trying to illustrate
that you put quotes around it.

274
00:16:01,378 --> 00:16:03,878
I am too tired
to put quotes around things.

275
00:16:04,047 --> 00:16:08,177
But if I were gonna put quotes on a word,
that word would be "seminar."

276
00:16:08,592 --> 00:16:10,222
Oh, and "branding."

277
00:16:10,386 --> 00:16:14,516
And I would put big, giant, dumbass quotes
around "branding seminar."

278
00:16:16,183 --> 00:16:18,193
Max, you did that on purpose.

279
00:16:18,352 --> 00:16:21,442
Oh, maybe it was just an "accident."

280
00:16:23,274 --> 00:16:26,244
Stop, stop.
You're spraying the light cord.

281
00:16:26,403 --> 00:16:30,323
Hello, water and electricity,
not the best combo.

282
00:16:31,115 --> 00:16:34,365
Like some other not-great combos
I can think of.

283
00:16:34,869 --> 00:16:37,329
Us? You mean, us?

284
00:16:37,496 --> 00:16:39,576
What, now we're not a great combo?

285
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:45,210
Wow, sorry I suggested
we go to a, quote, "seminar," unquote.

286
00:16:45,379 --> 00:16:47,129
Sorry I'm trying to move us forward.

287
00:16:47,298 --> 00:16:49,798
Sorry that you think you know
how to do everything.

288
00:16:49,967 --> 00:16:52,677
Sorry that you resent that
I know how to do business.

289
00:16:52,846 --> 00:16:55,306
Sorry that you think you know
how to do business...

290
00:16:55,472 --> 00:16:57,932
...and maybe that's why
our first business failed.

291
00:16:58,600 --> 00:17:01,980
Sorry that you took two weed breaks
every single day...

292
00:17:02,147 --> 00:17:05,897
...instead of making work calls,
and maybe that's why our business failed.

293
00:17:06,067 --> 00:17:08,487
Sorry that I didn't take
more weed breaks...

294
00:17:08,653 --> 00:17:12,373
...because I really could have used them
working with a know-it-all like you.

295
00:17:12,531 --> 00:17:13,781
-And sorry--
-It's my turn!

296
00:17:13,950 --> 00:17:17,870
No, sorry that you also had to stick your nose
into Oleg and Sophie's business...

297
00:17:18,037 --> 00:17:19,907
...so that he cheated
and she got mad...

298
00:17:20,080 --> 00:17:24,040
...and then, by an almost irrefutable line
of direct action, you killed my toys.

299
00:17:24,210 --> 00:17:27,460
Sorry that it doesn't matter
how many things I ever did right...

300
00:17:27,630 --> 00:17:32,300
...because poor itty-bitty baby Max's
Happy Meal toys got all broked.

301
00:17:33,677 --> 00:17:35,347
Don't push me, Max.

302
00:17:37,932 --> 00:17:40,932
You're such a fan of branding.

303
00:17:41,102 --> 00:17:42,772
"Just do it."

304
00:17:42,936 --> 00:17:44,306
"Have it your way."

305
00:17:44,939 --> 00:17:47,819
"What happens in Vegas
stays in Vegas."

306
00:17:47,983 --> 00:17:49,153
"Got milk?"

307
00:17:49,986 --> 00:17:52,356
Got any other stupid business ideas?

308
00:17:55,365 --> 00:17:59,365
Stop. Stop! Stop!
Stop it! Stop it! I'm done!

309
00:18:01,205 --> 00:18:03,165
No, I'm done.

310
00:18:03,333 --> 00:18:04,753
No, we're both done.

311
00:18:04,917 --> 00:18:07,207
-Fine, we're both done.
-Done.

312
00:18:07,377 --> 00:18:09,877
-Done.
-No, I'm really done, Max.

313
00:18:10,048 --> 00:18:12,048
I'm tired of trying
to make things happen.

314
00:18:12,217 --> 00:18:14,507
I'm tired of pushing us
into cupcake shops.

315
00:18:14,676 --> 00:18:17,306
And I'm tired of you pushing us
into cupcake shops too.

316
00:18:17,471 --> 00:18:20,851
Shops that we couldn't afford
in the first place.

317
00:18:21,226 --> 00:18:22,266
(ELECTRICITY BUZZING)

318
00:18:22,434 --> 00:18:23,854
(SCREAMING)

319
00:18:24,019 --> 00:18:25,649
Oh, my God. Oh, my God, Max.

320
00:18:26,021 --> 00:18:27,611
Max, are you all right?

321
00:18:27,773 --> 00:18:30,403
CPR. Do you pinch the nose
and breathe into the mouth?

322
00:18:30,567 --> 00:18:33,027
I think you're supposed
to pump the chest first.

323
00:18:34,239 --> 00:18:36,779
Well, I'll never get through those.

324
00:18:37,700 --> 00:18:40,120
Max, I'm about to put my mouth
on yours...

325
00:18:40,286 --> 00:18:43,366
...so if you're kidding,
you better wake up right now.

326
00:18:45,375 --> 00:18:46,705
(BLOWING AIR)

327
00:18:47,961 --> 00:18:52,091
Max, please don't die. Please don't die.
You're my best friend.

328
00:18:53,799 --> 00:18:54,929
(GASPS)

329
00:18:55,093 --> 00:18:56,723
Sit up. Sit up, sit up.

330
00:18:56,885 --> 00:18:58,095
Are you all right?

331
00:18:58,262 --> 00:18:59,352
What happened?

332
00:18:59,513 --> 00:19:02,683
You grabbed that wire
and I think you got a little electrocuted.

333
00:19:03,226 --> 00:19:06,976
I always knew I'd be electrocuted,
I just thought it'd be in the chair.

334
00:19:07,896 --> 00:19:11,436
-God, I'm so hot. I need air.
-Come here. The window, come on.

335
00:19:11,608 --> 00:19:15,068
Come on. Come on, over here.
Here, kneel.

336
00:19:15,238 --> 00:19:16,318
Oh, man.

337
00:19:16,489 --> 00:19:20,239
Oh, damn, there are shutters.
Here, hold onto the wall while I get this.

338
00:19:22,912 --> 00:19:25,252
Are you okay? Take a deep breath in.

339
00:19:25,414 --> 00:19:26,924
Breathe in.

340
00:19:27,083 --> 00:19:30,213
Max, that was so scary.
For a second, I thought you died.

341
00:19:30,377 --> 00:19:33,587
Maybe I did, because I kind of remember
a place with flames.

342
00:19:33,756 --> 00:19:36,126
And you were making out with me.

343
00:19:37,426 --> 00:19:39,216
What is that delicious smell?

344
00:19:39,887 --> 00:19:42,137
The pizza place next to the bar next door.

345
00:19:42,307 --> 00:19:45,227
Oh, God, has a pizza
ever smelled so good?

346
00:19:46,603 --> 00:19:49,773
Hey, what are you guys doing?
Is that like a store or something?

347
00:19:49,939 --> 00:19:52,359
-No.
-Holler.

348
00:19:54,234 --> 00:19:56,494
Wait, Caroline.

349
00:19:56,653 --> 00:19:59,323
This is our window of opportunity.

350
00:19:59,490 --> 00:20:00,950
Max, what a great idea.

351
00:20:01,116 --> 00:20:03,946
A cupcake walk-up window.
You're a genius.

352
00:20:04,119 --> 00:20:06,999
I just might be since I died.

353
00:20:07,164 --> 00:20:10,504
So much less overhead, and this time,
we'll be starting at the bottom.

354
00:20:10,667 --> 00:20:12,497
So we'll have nowhere to go but up.

355
00:20:12,670 --> 00:20:16,380
Thank God, I am so much
more comfortable at the bottom.

356
00:20:16,548 --> 00:20:20,298
Hey, I have this weird feeling inside.

357
00:20:20,470 --> 00:20:22,970
I'm McHappy.

358
00:20:24,557 --> 00:20:25,767
Hi, girls.

359
00:20:25,933 --> 00:20:29,563
Turning tricks in a window
like they do in Amsterdam?

360
00:20:30,480 --> 00:20:32,650
No, we think we found
our new business.

361
00:20:32,815 --> 00:20:35,775
Sophie, this is the new
Max's Homemade Cupcakes.

362
00:20:35,943 --> 00:20:37,533
Oh, speaking of windows...

363
00:20:37,694 --> 00:20:39,954
...that's Oleg's car, right?

364
00:20:41,156 --> 00:20:43,406
Oh, yeah, yeah.

365
00:20:49,874 --> 00:20:53,214
Well, some people open windows,
some people smash them.

366
00:20:53,377 --> 00:20:55,127
(GLASS SHATTERING)

367
00:21:29,163 --> 00:21:31,253
English - US - SDH

368
00:21:31,303 --> 00:21:35,853
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